


It's Me or the Muffin

by lost_spook



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-29
Updated: 2010-10-29
Packaged: 2017-10-12 23:05:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ainsley has an ultimatum to make.  Either way, she's expecting to get a muffin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Me or the Muffin

**Author's Note:**

> I blame this one on being ill, but it has since been corrected a bit by people who know more about the US and muffins than I do. Any remaining mistakes are entirely mine.

"Ask me why it's a good morning."

Sam glanced up at Ainsley, who was standing in the doorway of his office, wearing a dove grey skirt and jacket and deep red blouse that had an interesting draped sort of effect at the front. (Fashion was not his strong point, but he generally appreciated the view when it was Ainsley doing the wearing of it.) He looked back at his watch. "It's morning already?"

"You have got to leave the building from time to time," she advised him. "So, go on, ask me why it's a good morning."

He put down his pen. "Am I going to regret it if I do?"

"I've decided," said Ainsley, ignoring that remark, "that it's a good morning because you're going to buy me a muffin."

"I am?"

"Mmm-hmm."

Sam narrowed his gaze. "Any particular reason? I'm the one who's been up all night. Maybe you should buy me a muffin."

"Maybe, but you don't appreciate them the way I do," she said. "Do you want me to answer that with all the reasons you should buy me a muffin, or do you just want to come and buy me one?"

Sam thought about it; opened his mouth, and shut it again. "Hey, I thought we got along these days."

"You ruined my last vacation," Ainsley pointed out.

"For a promotion."

"I know, and the spirit of tokenism and political expediency in which that was made touched me to my very core," she drawled, putting her hand to her heart. "Want me to go on?"

Sam got to his feet before she went any further. Yesterday had been a very long day. "I'll buy you a muffin."

*

"So," said Ainsley, as they arrived in the canteen. "Want to hear why?"

Sam rubbed his forehead. "Bearing in mind I may not actually be awake any more, okay. Why?"

"I thought," she said, "if you're not going to ask me out, then you might at least buy me a muffin."

Sam paused. "And, clearly there's a strong possibility that this is a dream. Where did that come from? Do you even _like_ me?"

"That isn't important."

"I'd have thought it was."

She sighed. "Listen. You find that out when you ask the girl out on a date, not before. And since you're too arrogant to do that, that's something you'll never discover. I'd like orange-cranberry, please."

"That last bit was about the muffin, right?" Sam said. "And you'd go so far as to say arrogant, would you?"

She shrugged, "Well, it'd be a blow to your pride to be seen out in public with a Republican. Otherwise I'm guessing even you might have asked by now."

"I think we made a pretty big leap of logic there."

"No, 'we' didn't."

Sam stopped her from moving further up the line. "Who says I want to ask you out?"

"You do."

"You've this second told me I never have."

Ainsley rolled her eyes. "Compliment me on my dress once more, Sam, why don't you? Or summon me to your office to make some petty point a few more times, why not? Okay, so it's fun, but I have work to do, and if you can't get over the R word, let's have a little less of the school yard."

"The school yard?"

"You haven't pulled my hair and run away yet," she told him, with a smile, "but I think we're getting there."

"Just because I notice you doesn't mean -."

"You're too much of a spineless coward to actually do something about it, because how would you explain that one to your friends? And, frankly, if you can't see past our political differences and view me as a fellow human being, you owe me a muffin. Several muffins, in fact. Possibly cupcakes also."

"Ainsley, of course, I see you as a human being. Besides, who says you'd be willing to be seen out with a Democrat?"

She chose her muffin, and looked straight at him. "Let's make this easy for you: if I wanted to go out with the Democrat in question, I'd say yes. It may have passed you by, but I work in the White House. You can imagine what my friends and former acquaintances think of that, and please notice the part wher I said _former_ , but I still come here every day and hold my head up when I leave. So, I'd say yes, Sam. Now, ask me, or pay for the muffin and go."

"You'd say… yes?"

Ainsley took her tray over to a table. "You really aren't very awake this morning, are you."

"What brought this on?" he asked, following her over. "Is this some weird revenge thing?"

Ainsley paused. "You know, I knew you were annoying, but I always thought you were intelligent. Well, gosh, it's not as if it's a shock. I _knew_ that was it – and I know damn well you'll never have the courage to risk asking out the enemy – or worse, the humiliation of having anyone else know you tried. At least this way I get to find out for sure, _and_ I get a muffin. It's a win-win situation."

"Who says that's the reason? After all, it'd be awkward," Sam said, shifting in his seat. "I mean, workplace relationships and that sort of thing -."

She nodded to herself, and leant forward, keeping her voice earnest. "Of course, Sam. Because _that's_ it. That's completely it, nothing to do with anything else at all."

"There might be other complications," he acknowledged, before he got to his feet and walking away, with one parting shot: "Plus, who says I want to ask out a crazy lady who's calling me a coward, and holding me to ransom for a muffin?"

*

Sam got as far as the doorway, and turned around again, rejoining her at the table. "For your information, I am _not_ a coward, and neither am I arrogant, or prejudiced."

"It's quite sweet how you cling to these little delusions," Ainsley observed.

He sat back down opposite her and said, "Go on, then. If you're free on Friday, you name the place. Your call. As public as you like."

"Thank you," she said, with a wide smile. "I know a nice Chinese restaurant."

"Why does that not surprise me? It's not very public, though."

She shrugged. "I do have some pride of my own, Sam. We'll work up to that."

"If we don't kill each other on Friday," he agreed. Then he paused. "You knew I'd say that, if you made it a challenge, didn't you?"

"It was a likely outcome," she said. "And I'd get a muffin anyhow."

"You may actually be evil."

"Why, thanks, Sam."

"You did notice I just called you evil, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I thought you believed that word was synonymous with Republican. I think you've restored my faith in human nature."

Sam said, "Hmm." Then he leant forward. "You know what, you're right – I should leave the building more often. Want to come with me?"

"Yes, but I only just got here – hey, Sam!" she protested, as he caught at her hand and tugged her up.

He saw what she was after, and paused. "In this case, Ainsley, it's me or the muffin."

Ainsley hesitated.

"Forget I said that," Sam amended, facing the possibility that she might well choose the muffin. "I'll buy you another once we get out of here."

She smiled then. "Okay."

"Did somebody starve you as a child?" he asked as they made their exit. "I can't think of any other explanation for it."

"I just don't see why a girl can't have her cake _and_ eat it," she told him. "I mean, what else are you supposed to do with it?"

"You do realise this is crazy?"

"I know. And I have to be back for a meeting at ten, okay?"

"No, I meant – us, I suppose."

She smiled. "It doesn't worry me, Sam, so that's your problem."

*

"You're looking suspiciously cheerful," said Josh, breaking off mid-conversation. "What is it you keep grinning at?"

Sam stopped. "Me? Oh, nothing. It was a good morning, that's all."

"It was? Any reason, because I thought it wasn't that great as mornings go? But then they never look the same when you didn't get to bed the night before."

He shrugged. "Well, I bought Ainsley a muffin."

"You're a strange person," said Josh.

"I am."

"As long as we both know that, that's okay."


End file.
